The civil war of the 90s in Bosnia and Hercegovina (BiH) was ended by the internationally negotiated Dayton Peace Agreement (DPA). An International Administration was put into effect assigned with the task of overlooking the peace process. The country's policy agenda has since been set outside the country's borders.

I am not one of you - neither of you (About observers and observations)

By an activist from Germany with Bosnian roots. 10/3/2015

For five months now I have been living in Sarajevo, Bosnia and Hercegovina. I have six more months to go. During this time I have been repeatedly approached by friends and acquaintances asking me if I would consider writing a blog about my experiences. The idea of openly writing about my life here and the people I share it with provokes pure antipathy in me. This requires setting myself apart as an observer and during my time in Sarajevo I am confronted over and over with people who are exactly that - observers of this society rather than a part of it.

But I can share my observers' observations with you. The people of Sarajevo usually refer to the large community of international delegates, diplomatic agents, business' managers, international envoys etc. using the term 'internationals'. These internationals flocked to Bosnia and Herzegovina with the civil war's end and stayed in their numbers to this day. But why do they stay here as alienated fragments, on the verge of a society they have been living in? The answer to that question can be found in peoples' incentives to come here. To actually live in the area is rarely one of them. For many 'internationals' their stay in Bosnia and Herzegovina represents nothing but a step on their career ladder. An interesting research object. For them the country takes on the role of a waiting room from which they hope to be called away from as soon as possible.

For others - mainly students, self-claimed artists, hedonists, bohemians, youth initiative volunteers - Bosnia and Herzegovina is an exotic destination which comprises the specific image of a Balkans' country produced by the 'Balkans hype' in western Europe, a country on the periphery, a bit shabby, a bit rustic. All the flair of a failed Socialist paradise, a mix of cultures and religions, and the legacy of a not long past civil war that's tracks are still there, perfect for capturing and publication. Bosnia and Herzegovina is the new Spain for a youth from Western Europe looking for poignant stories to tell. Their choice reflecting their non-conformism while holding onto enough comforts that would be lost where they to wander outside the bubble of international community. They might love the place but not for what it is. They love it for the liberties it offers them, as its borders don't apply to them.

So as different as these different groups of 'internationals' might present themselves - and they put strong emphasis on being different from each other - they have all at least one thing in common, which is emphasising the striking potential of this country. They point out the potential while neglecting all the aspects of life which are already good enough and even better than aspects in Germany, Great Britain, France, Italy, United States, etc. They simply fail to reflect upon their own values but use them to constantly measure the local ones. So, they preserve and consolidate their own norms and values even more anxiously so they can serve as reference points while surrounded by an imagined hostile environment - hostile because unknown. But they will always continue to be strangers as long as everything stays strange to them, starting and ending with the language they never attempted to learn.

Their detachment is clouded from them by their claims of cultural superiority in fields which seem obviously inferior to Bosnian. They preach the latest findings of medical research and follow their health hype into western drug stores buying organic teas, herbs, gluten-free grocery and dietary supplements imported from Germany while being ignorant of the existence of Bosnian herbology and nourishing cuisine which has kept its people strong and healthy for centuries. They are detached by a system of values in which animals can matter more than people, which makes them obscenely ignorant enough to point out the necessity of helping stray dogs to people who feel helpless every single day in the face of packed trams carrying passengers to city centre soup kitchen. Detached as they tell stories of when they couldn't bring themselves to walk past a dead animal, seeking the sympathy of people who saw the unspeakable on these very same streets.

But it is exactly this constant comparison against western norms that diminishes the local richness, depreciates the local culture and humiliates Bosnian society on every level on a daily basis. It is 'Opposite Day' every day in Bosnia and Herzegovina. While in western countries the migrant population mainly takes up the marginal position within society, it is the 'internationals' here that constitute the upper class. And they exercise their every right to this position and do not question the fact that they have more rights in this country than the people who own it. They do not question the contradiction between their status and their claimed mission to bring humanitarian aid, democracy, resource development or some other meaningful concept this society is expected to aspire to. But instead of supporting the country's resources they take it apart and divide it between them, using the people they meet on their way for their narcissistic self-staging, disappointing the ones who set their hopes on them, serving the ends of the corrupted.

Bosnia and Herzegovina is a stage on which to beg for applause - their international audience is impressed while the national one has no other option but to clap along. But they exit before the curtain has fallen, wiping their fingers clean on the Bosnian flag. It is the flag that they themselves have picked for this country and that is mocking its people every single day, looking up to them on their 'identity cards'. Thanks a lot for this piece of identity!

They go without having learned the first thing about this society, leaving behind fragments of structures that they were sent to implement, fragments that others will pick up and play with as they wish. They leave behind hybrid personalities that have adapted to the 'international environment' in the name of development, people who were hoping to be perceived as a serious partner, but now are just as much strangers in their own country as those who once arrived. A country which is ruled by strangers. People ashamed to feel local that have learnt to shake their head at everybody else, the way they try to shake off all that is rooted within them. And as they become aware of the futility of these aims, a passivity evolves. And I want to shake all of them. All of us.

'You speak the local language?' - I try. And therefore I become the link between two worlds which exist side by side, but not with each other. Two worlds which both try to take me in and ascribe an identity which suits them most. For the internationals I am one of them and they search my gaze for the same incomprehension about and refusal of the life here, while I am 'naša' (ours) to the Bosnians. 'Ti si naša' (You are ours), a recognition which I was longing for but now threatens to suffocate me and makes me want to flee in the way I was fleeing Germany on arrival here.

'You speak the local language?' - I try, really. But with every new word I learn, I am being handed a new jigsaw piece of myself, - but how to fit them together when I don't know the full picture? Sometimes the words pain me so much that I want to hide from life and its inherent worlds and words. No language, no identity at all. 'Ti razumiješ nas?' (You understand us?)

I am not an observer, but neither am I one of you. And this observation is maybe my most profound and most painful one.

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Sorry Comments Closed

Comment left by John Thompson on 23rd March, 2015 at 22:26
This is ridiculous. I am an international living in Sarajevo (two years), and I can say without a doubt that the international community is doing amazing things in Bosnia and for Bosnia while honoring its amazing culture. Perhaps five months is not enough time to gain an adequate understanding of a complex community and posture yourself as an all-knowing judge?

Comment left by Una on 29th March, 2015 at 16:40
John, I am a human being living in Sarajevo (30 years), and I can say without a doubt that Ms. Laštro's article hits the nail on the head. Two years should have been enough time for you to gain an adequate understanding of a community as complex as any other. What went wrong? P.S. Two years is also enough time to learn the language (without which any understanding you may have is bound to be partial), so feel free to reply in BSC.