Wanna Speed Date?

By Chris Tingle

Speed-dating is something that I've done on three occasions now. Each time I've done it, I've approached it with the same trepidation with which I'd approach a job interview. The pessimistic side of me believes that I'm setting myself up for rejection. What if no-one likes me? What if I can't think of anything to say to anyone? What if I don't match up with anyone? You soon get over the nerves though when the musical chairs begin.

You get three minutes to make an impression. As it happens, the time nearly always passes very quickly. I quite often found myself wishing that I had a bit longer.

The company who ran the event suggested in the blurb they gave us that we should 'Be Original'. This is quite intimidating. Fortunately, if my experience is anything to go by, no-one takes a blind bit of notice of this advice. 'What do you do?' and 'Where are you from?' were the questions most people asked first. But when you think about it, those are often the first questions you ask someone you're meeting for the first time. If these questions were banned from everyday small-talk, no-one would meet any new people ever. One woman did take things a step too far when she asked if I was going away on holiday this year! Unusually though, she actually worked for the company that was running the event, as well as being involved in the dating. It's possible that she wasn't taking the whole thing completely seriously.

The evening is split into three sections, split up with breaks. The breaks are very necessary, because trying to make an impression is hard work! The events that I've been to have had anything from 35-60 people attending. So you could be trying to get to know anything up to 30 people in one evening. By the time you get to the last few people, you almost lose the power of speech!

At times it is a bit like a cattle market. You're just getting into the conversation when suddenly one of the organisers blows a whistle and your time is up. Each speed dater is given a sheet where you can write down the names of the people you've been talking to. If you'd like to see them again you put a tick next to their name. There's also a space for you to write comments about each person. If you don't, there's a good chance that by the end of the evening you'll have forgotten everything about the first few people you talked to.

At the end of the event, you give in your 'tick sheet' to the organisers and keep a carbon copy for yourself. You can then hang around with your new 'friends' for the rest of the evening or flee while the going's good. Then the waiting begins.

The organisers sift through all the sheets that have been handed in. They then send each 'speed-dater' the contact details of anyone they've matched up with. This takes a few days. Waiting for the e-mail from the speed-dating company is the most nerve-wracking part of the whole experience, receiving the e-mail is the most exciting part.
The first time I went speed-dating I matched up with two women (I'll disguise their names by calling them Fifi and Foo-Foo), both of whom were lovely. I was very keen to see them both again. I e-mailed Fifi and left a message on Foo-Foo's answerphone. My anticipation quickly turned to disillusionment when neither of them bothered to reply; I was annoyed because I couldn't understand why they would tick to say they wanted to see me again and then not reply to me. My friend Sarah, who went to the speed-dating with me, was a friend of Fifi's. She told me that Fifi had been ticked by about 14 blokes! Suddenly it all became clear. You are allowed to tick up to 10 people. As you might expect, the women were choosier than the men. My spies told me that the women would tend to tick only the two or three men that they REALLY liked, whereas the men would tend to just tick anyone they fancied (well that's what I did anyway).

The second time I went, I again matched up with two women. But this time I actually got a date with both of them! I shall disguise their names by calling them Trixibelle and Tallulah. Trixibelle and I had a very nice first date where we went for a meal in an Italian restaurant. Unfortunately, I agreed to go along with Trixibelle's suggestion for a second date, which was an early morning drive to the country, followed by a walk. We got on O.K. but we had nothing in common, and during the pub lunch that followed we finally ran out of things to talk about.

I went for a meal with Tallulah, followed by a drink. Again I thought we got on O.K. But Tallulah had a special talent which I noticed when I was sitting next to her in the pub. I kept trying to inch closer to her. I spent half an hour doing this but never seemed to get any nearer to her. And yet I NEVER NOTICED HER MOVE. Has anyone else ever had this happen to them, or is it just me?

So speed-dating is a lottery, just like meeting someone in a pub. But it was a good laugh. And being as there's a shortage of men at speed-dating events, maybe it makes more sense for a man to go speed-dating rather than go on the Internet, which tends to be mostly done by men.

Perhaps it's time for Nerve magazine to get in on the act and start up its own dating service.

Maybe he is right - send us a paragraph that really describes you - with your real name, real email address to Nerve and a first name and email address you would like to use for the dating. We will only publish your first name and paragraph in our next issue and forward any responses we receive to you, along with a safety guide.
Email to: dating@catalystmedia.org.uk